Friday, 13 November 2015

Body Confidence

Today's post is a bit different to usual. For years I have struggled with body confidence and I wanted to talk about it, because I know that it affects most of us at some point.
First of all- skinny shaming IS a thing.
I know how controversial this issue is with some people but for the majority of my life, I have only ever heard negative comments about my weight. Words like 'skeleton', 'twig', 'anorexic' and 'bony' have been thrown around in conversations about me. Which is ridiculous as anorexia isn't an adjective, it's a mental illness. When it it used so loosely as an 'insult', it is so easy to see why there is a stigma around mental health.Too often we hear about how 'real women' have curves, or 'real men' don't like skinny girls, and it blows my mind that some people don't see this in the same way as they would if someone was making similar comments about a larger, or more curvy, person. It is even evident in the music industry with artists like Megan Trainor (eugh), having lyrics such as 'skinny bitches'. I have seen people address this before who have been bombarded with responses of 'she said she was kidding about that lyric', but imagine how differently people would have reacted if she'd said 'fat bitches' in her song? I have mixed feelings about Nicki Minaj. She says a lot of inspiring things about feminism in interviews, but I can't get past her lyrics. 'Fuck them skinny bitches' Again, the use of 'bitch' is derogatory. I know a lot of people stand up for the use of 'skinny bitches' by saying that it used to be 'skinny people who shamed fat people'. However, I would just like to point out that we can't lump together all people of one size and criticize them for something a few people said. Yes, there may have been a problem with slimmer people shaming larger people, but not every single skinny person has done that? And does saying that not show you as being a cruel person as well, when you know how much it hurts to be criticized for your body size?
The only time anyone has the right to comment negatively on someone's body size is if they are a trained professional and the person is dangerously over/under weight. As women, can we not all support each other instead of having a bitching contest over which size is better?

This is the type of thing I am thinking of when I mention 'skinny shaming'. Men, and women, are attracted to females of all different shapes and sizes. No size is undesirable or unattractive.
Source: Google
My experience

I was a late developer and didn't start my period until I was nearly 15, as well as having a completely flat chest until I was 13/14. Even by my friends, I was told that I wasn't a 'woman' for being flat chested, and I was bullied and made fun of at school for it. For ages, I wore push up bras to make me feel more confident, even though they weren't particularly comfortable. (I feel like all ladies know the struggle of wire digging into you all day). I have always admired unwired and unpadded bras in shops, but didn't feel confident enough to wear them as they'd make my boobs look much smaller. However, I have decided that I don't care what people think, since some people at college have negatively commented on my chest size anyway. As I am only a small B cup, I don't need much support, so unwired and unpadded bras are perfect. They are stunning, available at so many shops including H&M, Accessorize and Topshop, and they are so comfy! If Kate Moss and Alexa Chung can wear these bras and still look gorgeous, then so can women with smaller boobs. (I am not saying only women with smaller boobs can wear these bras, I am just speaking from experience about my insecurities. Of course, if you feel confident in it, then wear it!)
I've always been very skinny, especially since a couple of spells where I was quite ill and lost of weight. I was often told that I couldn't be insecure because I was 'slim' or 'skinny', as if being larger isn't okay and I should be happy that I am slimmer? However, seeing comments on people like Poppy Delevigne's Instagram saying 'Eat a burger', 'You're too bony', 'She needs to gain weight. She doesn't look good', is very panic inducing. I thought people were thinking the same things about me, as I had been told similar things in the past, and it made me hate my weight and my protruding bones. For years, I was ashamed of how thin my arms are, and I would wear long sleeves, even in the summer. Within the past year, however, I decided to embrace my naturally thin body and work with it to make myself more confident. I have started working out (I hadn't actually properly exercised since year 10 in PE...), and have managed to put on weight, as well as gain muscle, on my arms which has made me braver about showing them off. I have also found that my weight has stayed the same since I went on a gluten free diet, as opposed to losing weight from the food I was eating not agreeing with my stomach.
To anyone out there who is struggling with body confidence, if it is really getting you down then you can easily adjust your diet or lifestyle to improve how you look, and therefore, how you feel about yourself. It doesn't cost lots of money either, but you are all beautiful no matter whether you, or others, think you are too tall, small, skinny or large. At least you have a more beautiful personality than people who stoop to criticize others for their appearance.

Holly Olivia x


  1. You are beautiful and this is an inspiring piece x

  2. You are beautiful and this is an inspiring piece x


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